Working Out

Do you even know how awesome working out is? It's like all of your muscles are like, "Dude come on, let's get ready to look good", and your mind is like crying but once you shut your mind off, your body just does it and I think that's an amazing thing that we all can do. I'm 5'10" and 128 pounds, and I love to work out. Running isn't something I favor as much, but I love going to the gym, and doing those sweet workout videos at home where the guy is all "Work that body, own that body!" It's also a bonus that everyone in the workout videos are freaking hot and sexy. Dang.

BUT WHO KNEW you can actually become that sexy person you see in the video! I don't freaking care if you're 350 pounds or 100 pounds, get your lazy butt off of the couch/bed/toilet and go work out. It's not worth it being lazy and unhealthy. And no, I did not say fat. You should always have a positive image of your body. You can actually be very healthy and still be a little on the chunky side, which is cool too. For me, I strive for absolute perfection and the best possible work that I can do. I'm pretty proud to say I'm not chunky or anything, and don't go hating on me for saying that. I've worked for this body, and I'm going to show it off.

After a long hard session of working out, you should feel hot and sexy and toned and amazing. If you don't feel sexy enough, keep working out until your sweat is dripping off of you. There it is, there's the sexiness. Get it. BUT, you need to keep working out. Every single day. Because if you don't, what is the point? You're going to lose all that time, energy, and muscle that you were devoted to improving your body. Keep it up or so help me you will lose all that muscle and gain the fat back. Lol, fat back. Yeah, you're going to get a fat back for real though.

Dude come on though, promise me you're going to work out today. Or if you're reading this at midnight, work out first thing in the morning. Or right now, whatever's comfortable for you. You can always improve on something on your body. If your arms have enough jiggle to create a third arm, then do some dang push ups. If your thighs look like cottage cheese, do some squats.
AND BY THE WAY, do not follow Pinterest's workout plans. They're shit. Just don't. Do you know what i'm talking about? The workout plans in the calendar format, like the crap "Flab Busting February"? The workout is literally like:
Do 1 pushup!!
Do 2 situps!
1 plank for :15 seconds!
Eat fruit today!
Just kill yourself. I love Pinterest workouts (and who doesn't) and some of them are actually very amazing and gratifying, but these lame workouts will do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. And if you're stupid enough to think that your body will change from doing a "flat abs in 2 weeks" workout, then I really don't know what to say to you. You're so much better than that. Find exercises that make you sweat a ton, scream, and tear your legs off because those are the ones that will actually get you in shape. That's a bit graphic I know, but it's the truuuuth. When you're working out, you have to go big or go home. End of story. Repeat that to yourself when you're running, doing situps, benching, whatever. You will never regret it, and you'll look super foxy.