So this fucking post is about how to get a guy or girl to like you.
This is inspired by this insanely amazing guy I am really attracted to. Yeah it sounds stupid but I haven't had a crush on a guy in a long time, and this man is just perfect. I have a pretty good chance with him, but I wanted to be safe so I googled 'how to get a guy to like you' and then immediately after I was like, "wait why the fuck did I even do that".
Let's start from the beginning. When you like a guy or a girl or whatever your preference is, there's this beautiful attraction that blooms. I absolutely love this and I will never admit this if you ever ask me in person because i'm not into sentimental heart flutterings face to face, but I freaking love when you're just beginning to like someone and there are these little bursts of fondness that you find here and there. Like if you guys are talking about Christmas and one of you is like, "Christmas is my favorite holiday", and you're like, "Me too!!!!" and your heart sparks up a little bit because you two have that much more in common. Are you even understanding this? I'm barely getting it either, don't fret.
Well anyways, after this initial attraction from just one of you or both or three or whatever your sexual identity is, you start to wonder if they actually like you. Which is when you start googling absurd things like 'how to get someone to like you'. When I was younger, I was the most shy girl ever and I was scared and worried and anxious and freaked out most of the time. Now I don't really give a fuck. I'll make a post about that later, but I am loving the ever living fuck out of this change.
I used to be the girl who googled 'how to make friends', 'how to get a guy to like you', 'how to get a teacher to like you', 'how to kiss someone' and whatnot. I wanted to know EXACTLY what to do in each situation so I wouldn't seem like such a loser. Because when you're young, it sucks to feel left out. No one likes feeling less than they are, so you try to raise yourself up by learning more about the world so you can become a part of it.
Throughout the years, I became much more confident. This confident radiates from me, and it makes me feel like I'm worth more than what I used to feel like. So when I reverted back to my old way of googling advice, a huge thought occurred and slapped me in the face:
"I ALREADY KNOW THIS ANSWER WHAT THE HELL MAN"
But for old time's sake, I decided to look through the silly Seventeen articles about crushes and whatnot to see if there was any advice I should catch up on. And there was some dumb shit I almost cried about.
Ready for this? Ready? No you aren't.
The advice these people were giving sucked BALLS. I literally read advice that basically said to change yourself in order for them to like you.
Yeah, that's such bullshit.
Here is the real advice:
1. Let the nervousness flow through you. If you truly like someone and you want them to like you as a friend, co-worker, partner, classmate, teacher, student, boyfriend, girlfriend, pet, mailman, what have you, let your anxiety out. Don't become a pent up nervous wreck of yourself. Let yourself laugh, and don't worry about every little thing. You've got to know that this is not the end of the world. If this person doesn't like you, just move on to someone else. There are billions of people in this world, and you are not here to impress every single one.
2. Be positive. Holy motherfucker I can't stress this shit enough. There is NOTHING worse in this world than a negative person. These people weigh me down and suck the happiness and life out of me faster than a dementor feeding off of a fat hobbit after a party. For example, if someone gives you a compliment, TAKE THAT MOTHERFUCKER. Hold that compliment within you until you fucking die. The balls it took for that person to give you that compliment is a compliment enough. They were probably nervous just trying to say that to you. So if they're like, "Wow, I love your curly hair!" Don't you dare fucking say, "Oh I don't really like my hair, it's really annoying." Don't you dare fucking say that or I will come after you. Take that shit to the grave because that is a beautiful thing to say to someone.
3. Don't lie. As much as you really want to say that you go out and party a lot when you honestly don't, just say the truth. Because if someone asks you out and then takes you somewhere where they think you like but you actually don't, it's going to suck. For example, say you told someone that you love to dance and drink and whatnot, so they take you to a really fun, loud bar. BUT, in reality, you would rather stay in your bed and watch Netflix at night. You're not going to be very comfortable in this situation, so just be upfront and honest when it comes to what you like.
4. Tell as many jokes as you can. This might not be for everyone, but it usually works out for most people. Even the dumbest jokes can get you a date or make you laugh. Well it works for me anyways. I am a huge sucker for puns, so I bust them out whenever I can and I laugh at them myself. If you just show that person you're willing to laugh and be easy going, then they're going to like you because you're so comfortable with yourself. This kind of ties in to being positive as well, because laughing is always attractive.
5. Ask the person you like about themselves. People tend to like talking about themselves, so if you ask them nice questions about getting to know them, then they'll warm up to you and open up much more. Just try to keep the conversation going, and don't be afraid to ask deeper questions. Some questions you probably shouldn't ask (What's your favorite sex position?) but some deep questions are more friendly (What did you always want to be as your career when you were a kid?).
5. Show them how good you can cook. Everyone likes food. If you bring someone food that you made, and it tastes delicious, they will love you. I will love you. This guy brought cheesecake the other day to work and I was in love with him for a few days after that, I kid you not. Just make sure you do it in a nice way, not a creepy way. Like make cookies (and you have to make sure they are really really good or else this won't work), and then casually ask if they want a couple of them and then watch their reaction as they eat it. Good luck man
